A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I rant, therefore I am.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
What after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.